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Wedding Toasts I'll Never Give, by Ada Calhoun
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Inspired by her viral New York Times “Modern Love” essay “The Wedding Toast I’ll Never Give”, Ada Calhoun’s memoir is a witty, poignant exploration of the beautiful complexity of marriage.
We hear plenty about whether or not to get married, but much less about what it takes to stay married. Clichés around marriage―eternal bliss, domestic harmony, soul mates―leave out the real stuff. After marriage you may still want to sleep with other people. Sometimes your partner will bore the hell out of you. And when stuck paying for your spouse’s mistakes, you might miss being single.
In Wedding Toasts I’ll Never Give, Ada Calhoun presents an unflinching but also loving portrait of her own marriage, opening a long-overdue conversation about the institution as it truly is: not the happy ending of a love story or a relic doomed by high divorce rates, but the beginning of a challenging new chapter of which “the first twenty years are the hardest.”
Calhoun’s funny, poignant personal essays explore the bedrooms of modern coupledom for a nuanced discussion of infidelity, existential anxiety, and the many other obstacles to staying together. Both realistic and openhearted, Wedding Toasts I’ll Never Give offers a refreshing new way to think about marriage as a brave, tough, creative decision to stay with another person for the rest of your life. “What a burden,” Calhoun calls marriage, “and what a gift.”
- Sales Rank: #6778 in Books
- Published on: 2017-05-16
- Released on: 2017-05-16
- Original language: English
- Dimensions: 8.60" h x .80" w x 5.80" l,
- Binding: Hardcover
- 192 pages
Review
“Ada Calhoun has written the definitive meditation on marriage in all of its mystery and imperfection. It should be required reading for anyone considering it, and highly recommended for those who want to be reminded of why they did it in the first place.” (Molly Ringwald)
“Ada Calhoun is the friend we all need―the one who lets us behind the curtain of her good marriage to help us better understand our own. She’s smart, funny, and, best of all, willing to bare all.” (Emma Straub, New York Times best-selling author of Modern Lovers)
“By turns hilariously candid, thought-provoking, and romantic, Wedding Toasts I’ll Never Give gave me a richer view of the joys and challenges of marriage―especially my own marriage.” (Gretchen Rubin, New York Times best-selling author of The Happiness Project)
“Extremely funny and deeply insightful. With its generous spirit and breathtaking honesty, Ada Calhoun’s instruction manual of a book recalls another all-time favorite, Anne Lamott’s classic Bird by Bird. This slim volume is brimming with practical advice and should be mandatory reading for married people and anyone who’s contemplated taking the leap.” (Davy Rothbart, author of My Heart Is an Idiot)
“A warm, tart, corrective to the persistent conviction that a wedding is the neat end of a love story.” (Rebecca Traister, New York Times best-selling author of All the Single Ladies)
“Brutally honest, hilarious and unsentimental―but never unkind―this is a book for anyone who has ever had a thought (good or bad) about the institution of marriage. I devoured this gem in one sitting. I want to marry this book.” (Susannah Cahalan, New York Times best-selling author of Brain on Fire)
“What a witty, sexy, surprising testimony to the institution of marriage! It’s the best essay collection I’ve read in a long time, just astoundingly honest and insightful about what marriage really means. And I say that as someone who has been married 20 years.” (Karen Abbott, New York Times best-selling author of Sin in the Second City)
“By turns funny, melancholy, and profound. A thoughtful read of the monogamous, non-monogamous, and every relationship iteration in between.” (New York Magazine)
“A lighthearted approach to the toils and snares of marriage…. [O]riginal, engrossing.” (Heather Havrilesky - New York Times Book Review)
“[A] lovely meditation on what it means to be married and faithful in this age…. I just felt a lot of affection for this book.” (John Williams - New York Times Book Review Podcast)
“Moving, refreshing, funny.” (Booklist)
“Engaging... wise and lovely.” (Kirkus)
“A pithy summation of the realities of marriage… [a]lternating between hilarious personal anecdotes and sobering professional insight.” (Thérèse Purcell Nielsen - Library Journal)
“Calhoun is laugh-out-loud funny…. This realistic, empathetic book of advice is worthy of a spot on any newlywed’s bookshelf.” (Publishers Weekly)
About the Author
Ada Calhoun has written for the New York Times, New York magazine, and the New York Post. Her book St. Marks Is Dead was named a New York Times Editors’ Choice and a Boston Globe Best Book of the Year.
Most helpful customer reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
I'd toast this book!
By Lauren Brody
Brave and mind-bending and comforting all at once. I loved the intimate look into another woman's marriage that made me look more deeply into my own, too. Just brilliant.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
and does a masterful job of showing both the hardest and most beautiful aspects of married life
By E P
This homage to marriage takes you through the ups and downs of relationships, the struggles to be honest and vulnerable, and does a masterful job of showing both the hardest and most beautiful aspects of married life. Ada's writing, her authenticity, her stories will fill you with amazement. I read the book in one sitting and urge you to do the same.
1 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
I loved this book
By Taffy Akner
I feel like the world has been missing this: An honest testimony to what marriage is and what it could be, in its best times and its worst. Wedding Toasts I'll Never Give gives real thought and light to the predicament of marriage. I turned every page nodding emphatically YES YES YES. The book is warm and beautiful and hard to put down. I'm grateful for its existence.
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